Friday, January 25, 2013

"The Love Cray-zee Chronicle's" (Chapter 13)

“You mean to tell me that you two laid in the bed together all night and nothing happened?” Camille asked with that crazy look on her face.

“That’s exactly what I am saying. I told you that I was in love with him, but I also told you I would never cross that line,” I said trying to get Camille to understand that I had no intentions of messing up my friendship, with Jay.

“I know he feels the same way about you Toya. I have always told you that he feeling you, but you refuse to take a chance with the man.”

“Exactly, a chance. I could not imagine not having Jay in my life under any circumstances. I refuse to have a failed relationship mess up what we have.”

“I don’t understand you Toya. You rather be miserable than tell the man you love, that you love him, all because you scared to take a chance. How in the world have you become one of the most successful Marriage and Family Therapist in Atlanta, when you refuse to work on your own relationship?” Camille asked starting to sound a little frustrated with me

“I am just scared,” I said just as Jay came walking through the front door.

“Scared of what? I told you I was here to protect you. I am not going to let anyone hurt you on my watch,” Jay stated as he was walking to take our snacks for movie night in the kitchen.

“See I told you,” Camille said punching me in my arm and trying to whisper so that Jay would not hear her.

“I got both of you.” Jay said as he came and plopped down on the couch right between Camille and me.

“We know you,” you do Camille and I stated at the same time while each of us gave him a playful smack in the back of the head, something we had been doing to him since college.

We spent the next couple of hours watching a movie that I had totally no interest in. The only thing that was on my mind was how I felt about Jay. I know Camille was right that I needed to tell him, but what if the vibes he was putting out was not really what he was feeling. I would hate to just through my feelings out there to him and then he rejected me. You talking about an awkward situation. Worst yet, if we did get together and it didn’t work out, that would be even worse.

I was just confused and frustrated. Did I really have feelings for Jay or was I just feeling this way, because he had to become my superman? The one thing that I did know was that the feeling were there and I would have to eventually own up to them. I just don’t think it will be any time soon. Would I even be going through this, if someone hadn’t decided they wanted to see me dead?

“Dead”, that scared me more than the fact that I was in love with Jay. I am having to sit here and look at Jay every day, because I am too scared to go and find my own place and be alone. I would feel better if the police I had some kind of lead, in my case. At least I would kind of know who I needed to be looking out for. I have no idea who I made so mad that they would want to kill me. I try my best to be nice to everyone, even if I am not feeling them. Yet, someone out there with some crazy psychological delusions wanted to kill.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

"The Love Cray-zee Chronicle's" (Chapter 12)

Cafe Russo was really crowded for a Tuesday. However it could have just been me feeling overwhelmed since I hadn't been outside since that night. I was glad to be able to look at Jay and Camille sitting across the room playing secret agents. It helped to ease some of my nervous tension. Jay had even insisted that they sit at the table with Marcus and I, but I had told him it would be rude to sit in on a lunch that they weren't even invited it to.
"Dr. Banks! How are you? I haven't seen you in a long time," a familiar voice said from behind me.

I turned around only to look in the face of a former patient, who I hadn't seen in over a year. She had been in couple's therapy, with her husband. She had wanted to work on there marriage, but he hadn't. Honestly, I didn't know what had happened to them, because they stop coming to see me after about the fourth session.

"Oh, hi. How are you?" I said trying to be polite, but not wanting to keep the conversation long because of disclosure and dual relationship issues that come with the counseling territory.

"I am fine Dr. Banks. Just trying to mentally recover from the divorce," she said with both a hint of disdain and sadness in her voice.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said truly feeling empathy for her, but hoping she would move on, before Marcus arrived, since it would be unethical to reveal who she was. "Yeah, he left me with a broken heart a debt and that is why I am working here now," she said still trying to hold conversation with me.

"Oh, I never seen you here before, " I said.

" I have been working here about 6 months, as a chef. I see you and your friend in here having lunch all the time, but I never come out the kitchen to say hi because I am always so busy. Speaking of busy, let me get back to the kitchen."

"It was nice seeing you again," I said so happy she was about to walk off.

"You too Dr.Banks and don't be surprised if you see me soon in your office for some individual counseling, " she said walking off with a weird grin.

Just as she was leaving, I looked up just in time to see Marcus walking through the door.

"Hi there you," he said as he was starting to sit down at the table.

"Hi, Mr. Stephenson," I replied back.

"I thought I told you yesterday on the phone to call me Marcus. I know this is business, but it doesn't have to be so formal either.

"Okay then. Hello Marcus," I said again with a little sarcasm in my voice.

"Ahh, now that's better. See it wasn't so hard to call me Marcus, was it?" he asked in a joking manner.

"No, but I am trying to keep this professional as possible, because I wouldn't want you to get the wrong impression of me."

"Never that Dr. Banks. It is hard to get the wrong impression from a beautiful, highly intelligent, well rounded woman as yourself."

"First of all let me say call me Latoya, since I have to call you Marcus. And secondly, flattery will get you everywhere," I said to him jokingly, but still sounding a little flirtatious at the same time.

" Well, I hoping my charm would make you smile. I was figuring you would be needing one," he replied.

 "Actually more than you wanna know, but enough chitty chat. Let's get to the business at hand," I said trying to detour the subject matter for going in the direction that it was headed to.

"No, problem. I have some question we can go over, after we order lunch. I promise not to take up to much of your afternoon."

"Sounds like a plan to me," I said watching him beckon for the waiter to come and take our order.

We sat, ate, talked and laughed for over an hour, about my journey as a therapist. We were having such a good time, it probably would have lasted it longer if I had not looked up and seen Jay point to his watch. Jay's look brought me back to reality. Once again realizing he was the one I was in love with and the one I wanted to be sitting across the table from, smiling and giggling like some school girl.

I ended my lunch and conversation, with Marcus, but not before agreeing to let him call me. He insisted on telling me about himself as well. I really didn't know what that had to do with him writing a book, but I finally agreed to it, after a few minutes of his persistence.

Leaving Cafe Russo I felt a little refreshed, all excited about going back to Jay's apartment to gossip with Camille, about my feelings for Jay and my conversation with Marcus.  However, what I didn't see was the eyes of the person giving me a piercing glare, as if to burn a hole in the back of my head wanting to kill me right then and there.

Friday, April 6, 2012

"The Love Cray-zee Chronicle's" (Chapter 11)

"Hi, Mr. Stephenson. This is Dr. Latoya Banks. I was calling to apologize for standing you up last Friday, but I had a personal issue to attend to," I said trying to explain myself to the handsome stranger on the other end of the phone.

"First, off all please call me Marcus. And second of all I saw the article in the Atlanta Journal Constitution, about the explosion at your home. I had called your office to check on you, after I read that, but they told me they did not know when you would be back in the office, so I figured you would call when you could," he said, in a voice that left me wondering whether he was just being polite or if he was truly concerned.

"Marcus, well I can make it up the interview to you tomorrow if you are free," I said.

"That would be great Dr. Banks. It would be my pleasure."

"Well great," I said trying to sound excited, but the truth was I was far from it.

I am sure any other woman would be excited to have lunch with this gorgeous man, but I just couldn't. I mean seriously between the issue of someone wanting to kill me and the possibility of me being in love with Jay, excitement was not on my list of emotions to be feeling. And that was real talk. 

The only reason I had called him anyway is because I felt bad about standing him. Hey, I probably wouldn't have remembered the lunch meeting, if it had been for me getting up this morning and reading the email that my assistant had sent over from the office, with a list of phone messages.

"Would you like me to pick you up?" he asked sounding like he was hoping that I said yes.

" Oh no, please just meet me at Cafe Russo downtown," I stated. I had already made plans with Jay and Camille to have back up there.

Jay had objected to the whole idea, of me meeting up with a stranger. I had distinctly remember him saying that for all he knew, Marcus could be the one trying to kill me. However, I am not the one to stand people up when I could help it. After much convincing from both me and Camille, Jay reluctantly agreed to me meeting Marcus as long as he could be chaperon.

"Okay, I will meet you there tomorrow around noon," he said sounding a little disappointed that he could not pick me up.

"Sounds great. See you tomorrow," I said hanging up the phone, before giving him the chance to further the conversation.

After I had hung up the phone I began to wonder, if things wouldn't have played out like they did, would I even be acknowledging my feelings for Jay. And if not, could Marcus had eventually become a love interest. I mean the man was very handsome and fine, and could have been a Shemar Moore double. That day in the office it seemed he had been throwing out more vibes then a casual business meeting. He acting like he seen something he liked, and I am not trying to sound conceded, it is just with my profession, I find it a little easier to read people. If my life wasn’t so upside down I might have even tried to pursue him just to take my mind off of Jay. I guess I will never know how it could be with either one of them. Maybe I was just destine to live out all of my days a lonely old maid. Me and love was like oil and vinegar, we just don’t mix.

"The Love Cray-zee Chronicle's" (Chapter 10)

I have been in my car for 3 days just sitting and watching, only leaving to eat and use the bathroom. Heck, I hadn't even had a shower in 3 days and almost could not stand myself. I had followed them home from the restaurant that night. I had been waiting for her car to leave and her to go to a hotel or to Camille's house, but that car had not move since that night, after they had left the police station.  

Yeah, good enough for her snoody butt that she no longer had a home. But if she kept chasing my man she was going to loose more than that. I can't stand the chick.

I just can't believe, Jay. How in the world did he move her in with him? He should of been thinking about us. Yet, once again Toya, Toya, Toya. I really had to get rid of this chick once and for all. There was no possible way we could work out our relationship with her around. I know he could not possibly be that stupid. He has to know that I am the best woman for him.

I needed to call and have a conversation with my therapist, because the stress of those two being locked up in our condo together is more than I can bear. If I didn't call and talk to him soon no telling what I would do to the both of them. I already had my plan into action to get rid of her, but it was not progressing as fast as I would have liked it to.

"Hello, may I speak to Dr. McCloud please?"

"Is it urgent, because he is in with a client?" the female voice on the other end asked.

"Yes, it is" I said with an attitude and getting irritated for her not putting him on the phone right away.

"Hold please"

I could not believe she just put me on hold. Do she not realize I am on the urge of committing a double homicide and a suicide? Somebody better get Dr. McCloud on the phone quick or they will have blood on their hands.

"Hello, this is Dr. McCloud," the voice on the other end stated.

 "Dr. McCloud this is Stephanie James and I need to talk to you before I commit murder and suicide," I said starting to sound erratic.

 "Stephanie, please calm down and meet me here at my satellite office at Grady Memorial Hospital, downtown. There we can talk all you want. Just promise me you will head straight here. I could even stay on the line with you until you get here," Dr. McCloud said in the calmest voice possible to keep me calm until I reached him.

"Yes, that sounds good. Your voice always calm me. I am on my way to you now."

Saturday, March 24, 2012

"The Love Cray-zee Chronicles" (Chapter 9)

Why in the world was I looking up at Jay's ceiling in his condo, and not my own? I still could not wrap my head around the fact that everything I owned was gone, but even more than that is the fact that someone wanted me dead. Who in the world would want me dead? I didn't have any known enemies, because I really didn't hang with anyone, but Camille and Jay. Could it have possibly, been one of my clients?  I usually only deal with marriage and family counseling, but every now and than I did do some mental health clients, when collegues are on vacation and need me to fill-in. I am just really confused at this point.

I hate the fact that I have to impose on Jay, but I just really needed to be where I had someone I trusted and someone I felt safe with.  Don't get me wrong, I trusted Camille, but I just didn't know how much protection she could be. We had discussion earlier tonight before Camille left to go home, and we decided it would be best to hold off on the vacation to the Bahamas, until after all of this blew over.  However, I decided I was going to take sometime off from the office anyway and asked a colleague to cover my clients, for the next few weeks. I didn' t think I could be benefical to my clients in this state of mind and all therapist know that the number one rule of counseling is to lookout for the best interest of the client. Jay had decided he was going to stay around the house and work from his home office to protect me, but I didn't feel it was necessary for him too. I figured him letting me stay in his condo was enough, besides no one else knew I was here except Camille. However, he still insisted it was best that someone was with me at all times. Even though I felt bad about him putting his life on hold for me I didn't put up much of an argument about him staying home either, because the truth of the matter is I was scared.
            The more  I thought about my situation, the more I sobbed. My sobbing must have been pretty loud though, because there came a knock at the door.

"Toya, are you alright," Jay asked walking on in the room, before I could answer him?

"I am sorry Jay, if I disturbed you," I said looking up at him and seeing him standing there in nothing but pajama pants and seeing the moonlight glistening off of his bare chest. I could tell he worked out.

"Oh, no you didn't disturb me, I was up watching a late night movie. I just heard you crying and wanted to come in a check on you."

"Thank's Jay, for everything. I honestly don't know what I would do without you in my life."

"Well that is one thing you will never have to worry about," he said walking over to sit on the bed next to me.

"I know but."  That was all I could get out of my mouth before he stop me in mid sentence.

"No Toya, you don't know. Heck, I didn't know until tonight exactly how I felt about you. The thought of something happening to you and me not having you in my life anymore was an unbearable thought."

I was about to open my mouth and say something in response, but he stopped me again.

"I promise you I will always be here to protect you no matter what. I put that on everything," Jay said looking me deeply in my eyes, right before he kissed me on my forehead.

"Now let's go to bed," he said while climbing in the bed next to me.

 "Boy, what are you doing," I asked, but not wanting him to leave.

 "Girl, lay down. I told you I was here to protect you," he said with a tone a voice that made the tension in the room lighter than it had been a few minutes earlier.

I was confused, because this man that I have always looked as brother just spoke to me in a way that I felt like it was something more. But not only that, I was starting to question my own feeling for him. I wanted him to stay with me in the bed that night, and honestly I don’t think it was because I was fearful of my situation. I wanted him to stay, because I wanted him to hold me like I was his woman. I could for the first time admit to myself and maybe Camille that I was in love with Jay, but I wouldn’t say that to him. I didn’t want him to think I was just saying that, because of the current situation.

I just laid down in his arms and silently cried myself to sleep. This time I wasn’t crying, because of my home or the thought that someone was trying to kill me. I was crying, because I was very in love and could not possibly tell him, in fear that a failed relationship would ruin our friendship.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

"The Love Cray-zee Chronicles" (Chapter 8)

           After spending most of the night at the police station being grilled like I did something wrong , I was not in a very happy mood. My home had been destroyed and they were treating me like I was the criminal. The good thing was I really didn’t have to answer anything I didn’t want to, because I had Jay there acting as my defense attorney. For once he had to use his job to look out for me and not the other way around. I was so grateful to have him in the room with me and Camille waiting in the lobby.
“How did it go?” Camille asked sipping on a cup of coffee.
“Besides them acting like I blew up my own house and trying to be all up in my personal business, I guess you can say it went well. And anyway I had the best defense attorney in Atlanta, with me the whole step of the way, “I said looking up at Jay, smiling, and realizing for once I loved him more than he ever would know.
“Girl, please don’t give that nigga the big head. He alright,” she said knowing that if she ever needed a lawyer he would be the first person she called.
“I love you too, Camilla, But let’s get Toya out of here,” he said sounding exhausted.
I had to agree, because I was more than ready to leave. I was tired, scared, and frustrated.  I was standing here in a skirt and heels, when at this time of the night I would have normally been in pajamas or a night shirt.
 I just couldn’t  believe I had no home to go too. I stood there starting to cry, thinking about the fact someone wanted to kill me and I had no idea who it was. Jay came and put his arms around me trying to console me, but I didn’t know at that point if anything could help.
“ Toya, you know you can come stay with me as long as you need too, cause you know I have plenty of room,” Camille said being the best friend she had always been.
“Naw Camille, she is going to stay with me. You know how much you are on the go and she needs protection, from whoever this is trying to get at her.”
“Oh, who is supposed to protect her? You or is this the accuse you been waiting for to get her at your place and in your bed?” Camille asked being her usual self and trying to find some humor in everything.
“Camille, this is serious,” Jay said with that serious look on his face.
As usual they were discussing me as if I wasn’t there.  However, the one thing I did know is that I would rather stay with Jay, because he was right Camille was gone too much for me and right now I didn’t want to be alone.
“Camille, I love you, but I am going to stay with Jay,” I said picking up my purse from besides that chair where Camille had been sitting.
“I love you to Toya, but you two aren’t slick,” Camille said smiling.
Any other time either Jay and I would have had a comeback, but both of us were too exhausted to get back with at her. So we just headed out to Jay’s car, to drop Camille off at her house and to pick up my Mercedes from her house, where I had left it before dinner.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

"The Love Cray-zee Chronicles" (Chapter 7)

“Wow, I can’t believe that you told him you that you were very busy,” Camille said giving me the crazy eye.

“She did right. She doesn’t even know that dude,” Jay said trying to defend my decision.

“Shut up Jay, you are just jealous, because some other guy besides you is trying to get at Toya. It’s not his fault you keep procrastinating. We all know that you want her,” Camille said to Jay.

“Camille, please all I want to do is watch out for her. You know she is like my sister,” Jay said defending himself this time.

“Really can you two stop talking about me like I am not even here,” I said listening to them get on each other nerves.

I had decided to have dinner with those two, because I wanted to tell them about my day, plus we had not all been together, in a while. I just didn’t know they were going to start going at each other. They made me laugh though, because when I thought about it, I realized that they both had my best interest at heart. They just could not agree which was the best way to look out for me.

After dinner, we all decided to head back to my house and hang out, but the problem was that we could not get down my street. The police and the fire department had the street blocked off.

“Oh no, I wonder what going on here”, Camille said from the back seat of Jay’s Black Convertible Mercedes 350.

“I will try to find out,” Jay said pulling the car to the side of the road, to get out and talk to the police.

Ten minutes later he returned to the car, with an upset look on his face.

“What is if Jay?” I asked worried about his expression.

“Toya, I really don’t know how to tell you this, but the police have been trying to reach you.”

“What?” remembering that I had turned off my phone early so I could enjoy my time with those two.

“They think that someone is trying to kill you, because your home was bombed. Did you receive anything strange earlier this week? Or did you notice anyone sitting out in a car watching you, because you nosey neighbor Mrs. Beatrice said she had been seeing a strange car, hanging around your house.”

“Well did you?” Camille asked with a look of concern on her face.

I was trying to answer, but still not wrapping my head around what Jay was trying to tell me. Yes, I had received a package, which I didn’t remember ordering, but could have. I don’t think I seen anyone watching me, but that didn’t mean they weren’t.  I always move in and out the house quickly, so I have a bad habit of not paying attention to my surrounding.

“I did receive a package last weekend, but really thought nothing of it! What are you trying to tell me?” I asked starting to freak out.

“Toya, sweetie you no longer have a home. Someone blew it up. Drop the detonator with a note attached to it addressed to you stating that you were next,” Jay explained trying to stay calm for me.

“Nooo,” was all I could scream at the time.

My life was in that home and it’s no more. I have nothing left. I thank God I was alive, but where was I going to start over rebuilding the pieces? This was a lot to process all I one time.

“It is going to be alright sweetie.” Camille said almost as if she could read my mind.

“There is one more thing,” Jay begins to explain. “They want you to come down to the police station and answer some questions.”

“Really, they can’t wait until in the morning? Isn’t this shocking enough for her?” Camille said especially letting her Hispanic accent show, which she only did when she was extremely upset. She received the accent from her mother who was Puerto Rican.

“It’s okay Camille, I don’t mind as long as you and Jay go with me.”

“You know we will,” Jay said answering for both he and Camille while driving away from the sirens and in the direction of the police station.